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  • Eight Common Mens Bedroom Fears
  • Erections
  • Masturbation: Facts
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Female Sexual Problems

    1. Your Sexual Ability
      • We're forever worried about when we should expect sex or how long we should stay up.
      • We obsess over how we measure up to a woman’s expectations or how to be as good as our friend who would have told us he stayed all night up!
      • Will she praise us at all that it was the good or she may be dissatisfied?
      • It gets even more insane when you add porn into the mix. Now suddenly not only are we worried about whether we’re the best lover she’s ever had but we are worried whether we can go on forever like seen in porn, can we also have multiple ejaculations. We assume if it does not happen like we that are not men.

      How To Get Over It:

      Well to start with, quit assuming that porn resembles real sex at all. Porn is an incredibly stylized and exaggerated performance and it bears no actual, resemblance to every-day sex. It’s like reality TV where everything is scripted and actors do their part over multiple shots, not in sequence. Trying to translate porn sex into the real world is an exercise in pain and frustration.

      Becoming a masterful lover has two major components: you need to be patient and willing to take direction as needed. Everything after that is just a matter of practice. Every woman is different and will have different requirements for proper bed-rocking-brag-to-all-her-friends-later-sex.

      Ask her what she likes. Learn how to read her signals and respond to them. If you’re trying to use your patented or friend - well-wisher informed technique, it may not work as she may respond differently. Its just like food, we have different needs and interests.

      And when in doubt: more foreplay. Always err to more foreplay, as you will discover more about the person.

    2. Your Penis
    3. The size and shape of a man's penis is the number one source of any man's insecurities and fears and we all have several news reports, spam mails, advertisements that enforce this idea.

      Penis size is popularly associated with virility and sexual desirability. A man with a small penis is just not as "manly" as someone with a seven-inch monster. If you're not long, hard as steel and aiming straight at the ceiling, you’re just an inconsequential dead weight, doomed to a lifetime of finger pointing and derisive laughter from the hordes of women you will never, ever be able to satisfy.

      How To Get Over It:

      Bigger doesn't automatically equal better in this case; the longer a penis is, the more likely the odds are that that you're going to end up bumping up against your partner's cervix, which is not fun for her. Girth is actually far more important for sexual pleasure; all of the important nerve endings are actually located near the front of the vagina and clustered in the clitoris.

      If you feel like you don't measure up, there are things you can do to make it look bigger. Losing weight will make you look bigger as the pads of fat around it shrink and pull back.

      Similarly, some judicious pubic hair removal with a hair trimmer will make your penis stand out and seem larger. You can't actually increase your penis size through

      The best thing you can do, however, is to accept what you’ve been gifted with and learn how to use it. A man with two hands, a tongue and a can-do attitude will always be more in demand, sexually, than somebody who thinks that pounding away like a piston in an industrial film is the end-all/be-all of sex.

    4. Fear of Erectile Dysfunction
    5. 'Anxiety about impotence as it was called earlier' ranks first in the order of prevalence, in all the sexual fears that men bear. Ironically, the fear itself is the greatest cause of impotence.

      There is no possible way a man can 'will' to have an erection. We cannot will to have saliva or tears flow either. These things happen on their own in response to situations. Behind the fear of failure to get erection is a fundamental anxiety - the fear of being rejected. The partner's understanding and cooperation plays a very important role in getting over this phenomenon.

    6. Fear that the wife may become interested in someone else
    7. The domineering husband, who believes he owns his wife, does not want to lose her for anyone else. He constantly feels that her infidelity is just a matter of right opportunity. It is his own inadequacy that makes him suffer this fear. The feeling of possessiveness, so much a part of the male mentality, and the jealousy which proceeds inevitably from this feeling, have been the cause of endless suffering and aggression. It is necessary to change the perspective of this man. A wife, who understands this and works silently to reassure him, has a better chance for a happy and lasting relationship than one who responds to his jealousy with anger, aggression and exasperation.

    8. Fear of not being normal
    9. Many men want to know if they resemble other men in their sexual behavior and if whatever they do sexually is the accepted 'normal' way to have sex. What should matter is, if both partners enjoy equally the act is right.

    10. Fear of 'Premature Ejaculation
    11. This problem is seen in men of all ages, and anxiety over repetitive frequency haunts men and lowers their self-esteem in front of their partner, making them less manly. The brain gets the signal that release is imminent, but for various emotional reasons the normal inhibiting mechanism fails. There are many approaches to evaluate and control or eliminate this problem.

    12. Infertility Fear
    13. While primary objective of having sex is to enjoy some pleasurable moments with your loved one, but at some point in your life you would plan a baby too. Here also, a lot of men have the fear in their mind about whether they can make their wife pregnant or not. With this fear, men start blaming their sexual performance and get anxious to find out if they are lacking somewhere.

    14. Anxiety about Their Performance
    15. Besides all the fears related to their sexual performance and inability, men often have fears, which are linked to the female partner. Things like what if I hurt her during sex, what if she doesn’t like my wild moves, what if she fails to get a satisfying orgasm and so on… with fears related to female partner continuously hovering over their mind, men simply can’t perform their best in bed.

      So it's important to identify these fears and consult an UroAndrologist at the earliest to overcome these fears as soon as possible.

    Everything you wanted to know about erections but were afraid to ask

    What happens during an erection?

    One minute, your penis is at ease. The next, something is arousing you and suddenly you get an erection. What happened?

    It's not anything complicated: Erections happen when blood fills up the penis and remains there. The more blood flow a guy has to his penis, the firmer the erection. Once you are sexually aroused, your brain sent a signal to your central nervous system, to increase blood flow down south. Once this happens, your penis gets erect. If you’re really lucky, it stays that way until you ejaculate.

    How does this happen?

    The penis contains three long cylinders of erectile tissue. Two of the cylinders lie side by side, while the third lies beneath them. The urethra, which is the urine and sperm channel, runs through this lower cylinder. Sexual excitement causes the cylinders to fill with about 100–140 mL of blood and, as they swell, the penis becomes erect. And as the erectile tissue swells, it squeezes the veins in the penis. These veins normally drain blood away from the penis, so the squeezing action prevents blood flowing away and keeps the penis erect. After orgasm and ejaculation these events go into reverse, and the penis becomes limp again.

    What can go wrong?

    When things go smoothly, it is like well practiced orchestra and creates beautiful music. However, like in an orchestra, the sound can get interrupted, in your body; many things get in the way. If you have a condition that prevents the message from getting through, your penis will not rise to the occasion. If you are overweight, don’t exercise much, smoke, or have cardiovascular problems, your blood will not flow easily. Your arteries will not dilate properly because they are inflamed or clogged. If your arteries are damaged, you have much lowered chances of rising to the occasion, no matter how attractive your companion is

    How can you help yourself?

    • Cut down on smoking and alcohol
    • Stop any illegal drug use.
    • Get plenty of rest and take time to relax.
    • Use safe sex practices to prevent HIV and STDs.
    • Talk openly to your partner about sex and your relationship.
    • See counseling. This can help with relationship as well as anxiety.

    When should you seek medical help?

    Occasional interruptions are normal for every man, however, if this is happening to you more than half the time you attempt an erection, then it is time to speak to your doctor. Your penis is a tool which can help you indicate and predict underlying reasons like heart disease or hypertension.Apart from the possibility of serious causesfor lack of erection, the condition itself has far reaching consequences. This problem, if continuous, can cause harm to your relationship and your own self esteem.

    Call your doctor if:

    • The problem does not go away with lifestyle changes
    • The problem begins after an injury or prostate surgery
    • You have other symptoms, such as low back pain, abdominal pain, or change in urination
    • If you are having erection problems due to a medication you are taking. (Do NOT change or stop taking any medications without first talking to your health care provider).
    • If you are taking any medication for erection problems, please do see a doctor if as soon as possible if you get an erection that lasts longer than 4 hours.

    Masturbation is commonly defined as touching one’s own body, including sex organs for sexual pleasure. Masturbation is a common and safe kind of sex play.Masturbation has many health benefits.

    How Common Is Masturbation?

    Masturbation is very common. Studies show that about 7 out of 10 adult men and more than 5 out of 10 adult women masturbate. It’s also common for children and teens to masturbate.

    When do people start masturbation?

    People may start masturbating at any time in their lives. Many children begin masturbating as they grow and explore their changing bodies. They often discover early that it feels good to touch their genitals. Children usually begin masturbating long before puberty. Young children do not have sexual fantasies while masturbating, but during adolescence it becomes much more sexual.

    It's important for children to learn that masturbating is normal, is not harmful, and will not hurt their bodies. They should also know to seek privacy when masturbating.

    If you have children, reading about how to talk with your children about sex may help you have comfortable conversations with them about masturbation.

    Why Do People Masturbate?

    The most common reasons adults give for masturbating are to

    • Relieve sexual tension
    • Achieve sexual pleasure
    • Have sex when partners are unavailable
    • Relax

    Many people think that others masturbate only when they do not have a sex partner. But that is not true. In fact, people who have regular sex partners are more likely to masturbate than people without sex partners.

    Are there Benefits of Masturbation?

    Masturbation can be good for mental and physical health. People who feel good about their bodies, sex, and masturbation are more likely to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases and unintended pregnancy.

    Masturbation is also one of the best ways we can learn about our sexuality. It can help us explore the types of touch we like the most and help us learn how to get excited and how to reach orgasm.

    Learning about what feels good to you can increase your chance of feeling sexual pleasure with sex partners. When you know what you like when it comes to sex, your comfort with sex increases. And when your confidence and comfort level are high, it is easier to let your partner know what you like.

    Masturbation can enhance our physical, mental, and sexual health and the health of our sexual relationships. Masturbation may

    • Create a sense of well-being
    • Enhance sex with partners, physically and emotionally
    • Help people learn how they like to be touched and stimulated sexually
    • Increase the ability to have orgasms
    • Improve relationship and sexual satisfaction
    • Improve sleep
    • Increase self-esteem and improve body image
    • Provide sexual pleasure for people without partners, including the elderly
    • Provide sexual pleasure for people who choose to abstain from sex play with another person
    • Provide treatment for sexual dysfunction
    • Reduce stress
    • Release sexual tension
    • Relieve menstrual cramps and muscle tension
    • Strengthen muscle tone in the pelvic and anal areas, reducing women’s chances of involuntary urine leakage and uterine prolapse

    Risks of Masturbation

    There are no health risks with masturbation. Skin irritation is possible, but using plenty of lubrication will keep that from happening.

    If you worry that you masturbate too much, ask yourself this question: Does masturbation interfere with my daily functioning? If it interrupts or gets in the way of your job, your responsibilities, or your social life, you may want to talk with an UroAndrologist / Sexual counselor.

    Masturbation and Shame

    Many people feel shame or guilt about masturbating. People who receive negative messages about masturbation when they are young often carry feelings of shame into adulthood. Approximately 50 percent of women and 50 percent of men who masturbate feel guilty about it.

    Negative feelings about masturbation can threaten our health and well being. Only you can decide what is healthy and right for you. But if you feel ashamed or guilty about masturbating, talking with a trusted friend, sexuality educator, and counselor.

    What Are Some Common Myths About Masturbation?

    There are many myths about masturbation. You might have heard it is harmful or leads to strange behavior.

    • Does NOT cause hair to grow on the palms of hands or other strange places
    • Does NOT lead to blindness
    • Does NOT make sex organs shrink or grow or change color, texture, or appearance
    • Does NOT stunt growth
    • Does NOT cause infertility — men and boys will not run out of sperm
    • Does NOT cause injury or harm
    • Does NOT lead to mental illness or instability
    • Does NOT make you gay

    What happens if I masturbate too frequently?

    Excessive masturbation can stimulate acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions. This immoderate amount of stimulation can result in an over-production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters like acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin, causing a considerable change in body chemistry

    The side effects of these changes in body chemistry can manifest themselves as:

    • Fatigue
    • Hair loss
    • Memory loss
    • Blurred vision
    • Groin/testicular pain
    • Weak Erections, Penis Shrinkage
    • Mood swings
    • Insomnia - sleeplessness
    • Early-Ejaculation
    • Back pain or discomfort

    Because over-masturbation distresses liver and nervous system functions, it can also lead to sexual exhaustion (even in younger males). This can include the appearance of impotence or erectile dysfunction in a male way before the average age of onset.

    Seminal leakage, otherwise described as the emission of sperm from the penis without an erection, is another common problem associated with extreme masturbation. This is a sign that the nerve keeping the ejaculation valve shut is weakening because of excessive use and over-stimulation.

    To add to the associated physical problems, in extreme cases, your compulsion with masturbation may get in the way of your work and family life the same way any other addiction (like alcohol or gambling) would.

    However the good news is all these are reversible with proper treatment.

    Penis and its length

    Why do men worry about Penis length?

    Even in this enlightened century, men fret about penis size and especially length. Though the vast majority of guys have more than enough bulk and length to perform well as lovers, there's a widespread masculine obsession that 'more would be better'. We get a constant flow of emails and letters from males who are worried that they are 'too small'.

    Of course, it's true that some men have big penises and some have smaller ones, just as some men have small feet and some have big feet, but the measurement is not – repeat not – an index of virility. Most people think that a tall man will usually have a large penis, but this is not entirely true.

    Companies advertise penis-enlarging creams and pills on the Internet make vast sums of money by exploiting this obsession.

    A question of perspective

    The trouble is that every man sees his own penis in a foreshortened view. The angle at which you look down inevitably makes your penis seems shorter than it is.

    But when you glance at another man's organ, there's no such foreshortening effect, so very often it'll look as though the other guy is slightly better endowed. A lifetime of comparison of this sort (and virtually every male does a quick mental check on each naked man he sees) can easily make you feel a bit inadequate.

    Average penis length

    Measuring the penis when it is non-erect is pointless, since the length and bulk are affected by various temporary factors, such as the ambient temperature. Even the largest male organ can shrink to virtually nothing if the man goes for a swim in cold water.

    • At normal temperatures a non-erect penis usually measures between 8.5cm and 10.5cm (3 to 4 inches) from tip to base. The average figure is about 9.5cm (3.75 inches).Masters and Johnson measured the penile lengths of more than 300 men.
    • The longest organ was 14 cm (5.5 inches) in the flaccid state, in slim 5' 7" tall man (170 cm).
    • The shortest penis measured 6cm (2.25 inches) in a fairly heavily built man of 5' 11" (180cm).

    Average size of erections

    What is the erect penis length?

    • The average length of the erect male penis is between 5.1 inches (12.9 centimeters) and 5.9 inches (15 centimeters) and Asian men have a slightly smaller penis.

    A smallish non-erect penis will usually achieve about a 100 per cent increase in length due to better elasticity compared to 75% on largish penis, which stretches less, during sexual excitement.

    Sex and women

    For women, it doesn't really matter how long or how short your penis is, because the vagina will accommodate itself to virtually any length.

    • The vagina of a woman who hasn't had a child is only 7.5cm (3 inches) long when she's not sexually excited.
    • When aroused, a woman's vagina usually extends only to a length of about 10cm (about 4 inches).

    This means any man's penis will fill his partners vagina completely, unless length is less than 3 ½ inches. Vagina has the most remarkable capacity for lengthening by 150 or 200 per cent, provided it is introduced into it gradually, allowing it to even accommodate a larger penis.

    What treatments are there to increase penis size?

    • Pills or patches for increasing penis size: a complete waste of time.
    • Penile enlargement exercises: probably pretty futile.
    • Penile suction devices: helps in some men, mainly to prevent shrinkage in penis as we age
    • Penile enlargement surgery: has certain value and but needs to be discussed in detail as it can have some unwanted complications

    Surgery to increase penis size

    The popular surgical procedure is cutting the suspensory ligament that supports the penis. (You can feel this ligament through your pubic hair, just above where your penis starts.) Though penis can be lengthened, it makes the penis dangle more (downward bending), and penis may need holding to insert during sexual activity.

    Penis stretchers (extenders) - Traction devices

    These 'stretchers' are small rectangular frames that you wear on your penis for hours at a time, every day. They pull your organ out to its maximum length, and the idea is that it will gradually remain longer. Daily usage over 6 – 9 months, may lead to an increase in length of 1.8cm - 2.8 cms.

    Women perception on penis

    • Some women really dislike the idea of a large penis and may be frightened by one that is too long.
    • Some women are much more impressed by the thickness of a penis, rather than its length. This is because some females like the sense of feeling stretched round the entrance to the vagina – so if a guy is quite broad at the base of his penis, this can feel very exciting and satisfying to such women.

    What if I'm not happy about my penis size?

    If you're really worried that your penis is the wrong size, go and see a qualified UroAndrologist doctor, not a quack and don’t fall prey to internet suggestions / devices.

    5. Penis Fact  #  1    How does penis maintain itself, even when not sexually active?

    To maintain a healthy tone, the smooth muscle of the penis must be periodically enriched with oxygen by the rush of blood that engorges the penis and makes it erect, this is an automatic mechanism controlled by brain called nocturnal erections or sleep erections. Impulses from the brain cause erections during the dreaming phase of sleep, called the REM (rapid eye movement) phase. It doesn't matter if you're having a hot sex dream or a nightmare; the penis gets hard during that period of the sleep cycle.

    If these erections stop, its an early sign of penis dysfunction, as blood flow will decrease reducing the penis tone, leading to shortening of the penis, by 1-2 cms.

    Penis Fact  #  2    Types of Penis

    There are two types of penises.

    Growers - 79% of men: This type expands to almost 3 to 4 times its size during an erection, due to both skin and penis covering elasticity.

    Showers - 21% of men: This penis appears big most of the time, but doesn't get much bigger after achieving erection. These men cause a lot of anxiety to the growers as they associate this type of penis also to grow 3-4 times during an erection, which never happens.

    Penis Fact  #  3    The Pleasure Zone

    The underside of the glans and underside of the shaft had the highest sensitivity rating for a significant majority of men, followed by the upper side of the glans, left and right sides of the glans, sides of the penis, upper side of the shaft, and foreskin (for the minority of men who were uncircumcised).

    Penis fact   #  4    Sensitivity Declines With Age

    Penis steadily loses sensitivity, (which is the least amount of stimulation a man is able to feel) as men age though it's hard to say exactly by how much. This is called the "sensory threshold." From age 25 on, sensitivity starts to decline. The sharpest decline in sensitivity is seen between age 65 and 75 with peak sensitivity before 25 years of age.

    Though sensitivity declines, "It is a rare complaint, ” "On the other hand, difficulty with erections and difficulty achieving ejaculation are much more common."

    Penis fact  #  5    Some men don’t ejaculate and have never experienced orgasm

    Primary Anejaculators are those who have never ejaculated and don’t know what orgasm is! Their idea of sexual activity is to perform till erection lasts or till he or his wife gets tired.

    Secondary Anejaculators are those who had normal ejaculation and orgasm and suddenly stops! Both types require psychological and physical evaluation to identify and treat them.

    One of the methods of treatment is Vibrators, which is so effective on the penis that often men with even spinal cord injuries can ejaculate with the aid of a special medical vibrator. For this kind of treatment, the vibrator is usually held against the underside of the head of the penis.

    The vibrators are tuned to stimulate parts of the nervous system involved in ejaculation. "They work at frequencies or amplitudes that are more specific to the [nerve] pathways."

    Penis Fact  #  6    Smoking and Penis

    Smoking can shorten your penis by as much as a centimeter. Erections are all about good blood flow, and lighting up calcifies blood vessels, stifling erectile circulation. So even if you don't care all that much about your lungs or dying young, spare your penis

    Penis Fact  # 7    Masturbation & Ejaculation in men

    Ejaculation is a reflex phenomenon that is triggered by the spinal cord and brain activity is not necessary for ejaculation. That’s is why men can masturbate without having erotic thoughts.

    Penis Fact  # 8    Penis and Injury

    The most common cause of penile rupture: vigorous excessive masturbation and bending of the penis in an erect state, which can crack the penis.

    Penis Fact  #  9    Testis hanging

    One testicle hangs a little lower than the other so they don’t strike each other and create friction, when a man is moving.

    Penis Fact  #  10   Condom and protection

    Wearing two condoms does not give extra protection against rupture; it actually raises the chances of breakage due to friction


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